THE NUANCES: NOTES ON NIGERIAN POSTGRADUATE EDUCATION

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Some time ago, the class representative for my postgraduate class announced to me and other postgraduate students that he was on a mission to find where to buy chicken breasts, fried rice and juice, because that was what our head of department, a large buxom woman who inspired no real academic intelligence, specifically requested as her refreshments. She would have no other chicken body parts. Just the breasts. So the class representative was saddled with the great and uncommon task of asking servers at the university restaurants if they had chicken breasts.

8 comments social commentary

THE 2020 COMMONWEALTH SHORT STORY PRIZE—HOW TO MAKE THE SHORTLIST

Saturday, September 28, 2019

For the obscure aspiring writer without traditional publication, the commonwealth short story prize competition is a good place to start the journey of gaining international visibility, literary credibility and the much-desired validation every young writer seeks—having people affirm that your voice, your story matter.

THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF MOTHERHOOD A. K. A. THE POWER OF MOTHERHOOD TO DISFIGURE.

Thursday, September 19, 2019

In the improbable realm of imagination, where the absurd and unlikely commonly happen, I saw the devil, red and double-horned, float around the Nigerian celebrity Annie Idibia, suggesting that she take off her clothes, pose in a bikini, take photos and show the world her postpartum body.

THE CUSTODIANS OF NIGERIAN MARRIAGE

Saturday, September 7, 2019

how not to screw yourself for marriage intending couples

This is a guide on how not to screw yourself specially crafted for marriage-intending individuals.

2 comments social commentary

FBI 80, OBINWANNE OKEKE AND THE BURDEN OF BEING NIGERIAN

Friday, August 30, 2019

FBI list of Nigerian internet fraudsters and Obinwanne Okeke

What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other means would smell as sweet—Shakespeare.

What is in a name? Shakespeare in his classic book Romeo and Juliet was simply trying to say that the content of a person's character cannot merely be judged by the name the person bears. But Shakespeare never met Nigerians.

10 comments social commentary

SHIT HAPPENS: WHY WE ARE A NATION OF REMORSELESS OPEN 'DEFECATORS'

Friday, August 23, 2019

A humorous exploration of why Nigeria brazenly remains a country of shit slinging people even in the face of Trump’s shithole comment.

7 comments social commentary

SHOW ME THE WAY [FICTION]

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

short story by Nigerian writer Chiamaka Ojiyi Ibuodinma

In the glistening heat of the afternoon, the sun a luminous hot haze, Bank Road a flurry of cars, buses and pedestrians gauging traffic, gearing for a sprint across the road, Arinze stood bent with his hand to his chest, coughing and feeling his eyes burn and water. A convoy of tinted jeeps sped past, their sirens loud, jarring. A rundown overly tinkered bus stood parked by the road, its speakers blaring advertisement in Igbo about a herbal concoction that cured erectile dysfunction.

2 comments fiction

UNDERSTANDING THE PECULIARITIES OF NIGERIAN CHRISTIANITY: A CRASH COURSE FOR PERPLEXED PEOPLE

Friday, August 9, 2019

Here is what you need to know when you wake up to the shocking realization that you've been labelled a witch by someone dear to your heart.

4 comments social commentary

CATCALLS AND A FLUSH OF GRIEF

Sunday, August 4, 2019

It would be correct to say that as a daily ritual the regular Igbo man swallows a morsel of garri dipped in a well-made soup of arrogant pride. The average Igbo man on the street has a heightened, albeit, unwarranted sense of his own importance. I cannot speak for other ethnicities, as I am Igbo and live among the Igbo.

2 comments fertility memoir

A TEMPESTUOUS MADNESS—PERSONAL NOTES FROM THE ASYLUM OF TRYING TO CONCEIVE: PART 2

A Naked Petition

What do you do when a woman gets too close to your husband?

Answer: Pray NAKED at 3am (A tweet from Glory Jaiye @glojaiye).

4 comments fertility memoir

A TEMPESTUOUS MADNESS—PERSONAL NOTES FROM THE ASYLUM OF TRYING TO CONCEIVE: PART 1

In the period while I tried to conceive, an irrational madness descended on me, swamped me, made a person unfamiliar to myself. Medicine says it is normal for you not to conceive immediately within the first year of unprotected sex—no need to worry or to subject yourself to vigorous laboratory testing to verify your reproductive abilities.